Bursting with creative ideas and brimming with illuminating anecdotes, this concise, joyful, and practical book shows how to find — and forge — happiness in the large and small events of everyday life. Based on her more than thirty years as a noted thinker and speaker on personal contentment, Alexandra Stoddard shares what she has learned about the small but significant changes you can make in your mind, heart, and surroundings to be happier day by day.
A gentle and fun first step is to quickly write down ten words that define who you are — perhaps beaches, family, food, home — and what else? To further expand your awareness, select one word and write down twenty-five words that come to mind. These and dozens of other inventive ideas will help you develop the self-knowledge to pursue happiness wisely and well.
In challenging times, it is easy to question whether happiness is a choice. Alexandra Stoddard affirms not only that it is possible to choose happiness but that happiness is the best choice we can make. It is the “first principle” of life that unites humankind because it is what we all desire.
Happiness lies in the passions we pursue and in the pressures we decline. It is in knowing how to work and when to play. It is in the treasured objects we keep nearby and in the ordinary moments we elevate into small celebrations. It is in the note we write to a friend and the kindness we show a stranger. It is in the colors we love and the music that transports us. It may be as simple as sunlight on your face; as sudden as a shared smile; as sensuous as a single flower on your desk, candles on your nightstand, or cookies hot from the oven. Happiness is what you make it, where you make it. Happiness is our best choice.
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A book that is a friend and a companion This book is a treasure-not to be read quickly but savored when settled into a quiet moment with a cup of tea. It is like self-therapy: encouraging on a bleak day, uplifting when needed, enhancing the best moments, and consoling during the worst. Less structured than many of Stoddard’s other works, this book meanders like daily thoughts, exploring reoccurring themes such as:> Defining the ingredients of happiness. (“Often we learn about unhappiness from being unhappy. We need strategies and tools to better cope with unhappiness, disappointment, and pain…. Approximately half of the ways to increase our happiness can be derived from wise, imaginative choices. The other half comes from our willingness to accept whatever happens, to make the necessary adjustments and move forward….Pleasure is experienced in our outer environment; joy originates within. Love of life and others is the goal. Choosing happiness is the way.”)> Cultivating mindfulness. (“By developing the capacity to be fully present in each moment, we will live a life of greater depth and meaning…. All experiences have the power to transform us when we’re fully alive to the beauty of a present moment’s encounter.”)> Sensitivity to our environment. (“The care and maintenance that we put into our immediate physical environment, our homes, our gardens, our possessions, our clothes, will always add to our sense of well-being and inner peace.”)> Cultivating our “inner garden.”> Ways to prioritize. (“When we prioritize what tasks we must perform, we’re able to immerse ourselves in what we do. Whenever we try to do too much in too little time, we are less effective and don’t do anything well.”)> Developing our defining words to help us “be true to ourself in our life choices.”> Counteracting the negative with the positive. (“We get good vibes by giving them….Being fully present. Listening well-these small gestures of caring are magical when they become a habit, a happy continuing experience….Miserable people cause most of the problems…. A gentle opposing energy can bring balance.”)> Expending energy to gain energy. (“Whatever positive vibrations we send out come back to us in rich benefits…. The more often we give off good energy-even if only in optimistic, compassionate thoughts and insightful ideas-the more opportunities we’ll have to live vibrantly moment to moment…. Appreciation energizes.”)> Following goals. (“When we decide what we want to do with our life, and move in the direction of our goals, when we challenge ourselves to personal growth as a regular discipline, we put everything we have into everything we do.”)> Thanking others. (“Thanking people for services they perform for you can bring dignity and pleasure to their jobs. The extra little effort, whether made in person, over the telephone, or in writing, adds grace to the giver as well as the receiver and encourages the energy of happiness.”)> Handling pain. (“Painful times in our lives are emotional marathons, and we know marathon runners don’t run on empty. We need to be in training in order to be at our strongest, most courageous best…. We should focus our energy on how we react to circumstances beyond our control, not on why something painful has happened…. When we bravely face truth, we use our energies to do whatever good we can…. The global family as a whole is not a happy one. There is sorrow at every turn-sadness because of lack of love, pain because of loss of hope, bitterness that is entrenched. What a wonderful gift we’re given to be able to be of help…. Participate with joy in the sorrows of the world.”)> Gardening as a metaphor. (“We can think of our home as a lovely garden that we enjoy cultivating…. The houses where we live don’t thrive on benign neglect. Living abundantly requires lots of loving energy…. When the energy is positive, when every wall, every corner exudes light and charm, there is no need to have anything that is not meaningful, useful, or beautiful…. Make your home a garden so breathtakingly beautiful that you inspire happiness in everyone you welcome in…. Our homes are our ideal earthly paradise.”)The necessity of ritual. (“Aesthetic qualities feed the human spirit and offer us color and variety as well as opportunities to feel grace notes of happiness…. When we are awake to the full potential of each moment, nothing is ever routine.”)> Following our dreams. (“Dreams come true when there is a clear, far-sighted perspective on what we most want from life and what energies we are willing to expend to achieve it…. We are like bees. We move about, going from here to there, having thousands of different experiences, and learning how to cultivate our own. We take everything…