The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does

Pinned on January 15, 2013 at 7:57 am by Kay Alarcon

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The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn’t, What Shouldn’t Make You Happy, but Does
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Happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research-based lessons in how to find opportunity in life’s thorniest moments

In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky isolates the major turning points of adult life, looking to both achievements (marriage, children, professional satisfaction, wealth) and failures (singlehood, divorce, financial ruin, illness) to reveal that our misconceptions about the impact of such events is perhaps the greatest threat to our long-term well-being.

Lyubomirsky argues that we have been given false promises—myths that assure us that lifelong happiness will be attained once we hit the culturally confirmed markers of adult success. This restricted view of happiness works to discourage us from recognizing the upside of any negative life turn and blocks us from recognizing our own growth potential. Our outsized expectations transform natural rites of passage into emotional land mines and steer us to make toxic decisions, as The Myths of Happiness reveals.

Because we expect the best (or the worst) from life’s turning points, we shortsightedly place too much weight on our initial emotional responses. The Myths of Happiness empowers readers to look beyond their first response, sharing scientific evidence that often it is our mindset—not our circumstances—that matters. Central to these findings is the notion of hedonic adaptation, the fact that people are far more adaptable than they think. Even after a major life change—good or bad—we tend to return to our initial happiness level, forgetting what once made us elated or why we felt that life was so unbearable. The Myths of Happiness offers the perspective we need to make wiser choices, sharing how to slow the effects of this adaptation after a positive turn and find the way forward in a time of darkness.

In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky turns an empirical eye to the biggest, messiest moments, providing readers with the clear-eyed vision they need to build the healthiest, most satisfying life. A corrective course on happiness and a call to regard life’s twists and turns with a more open mind, The Myths of Happiness shares practical lessons with life-changing potential.

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Comments

Wulfstan "wulfstan" says:

“I’ll be happy when I…” How many times have we said that or heard that? “I’ll be happy when I…”"Get out of my parent house into my own place”"Get out of this fleabag apartment into my own home”"Get out of being underwater so I can refi this house”"Get enough equity to roll this place over into my dream house”"Get out of this great big house and downsize”And it never ends. You may not be one of those people, but I bet you know someone who is, And if you do- get them this book. Yes, it’s true, there are some things that once achieved (such as having enough food to eat, a warm place to sleep, someone to be with you) will increase your chances of being `happy”. But other than those basic needs, thinking that “I will be happy once I…” is a certain recipe for disappointment.This book is a follow up to “The How of Happiness”. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Professor of Social Psychology, and knows her stuff. “A recent interest has steered me from the search of the roots of happiness to an examination of its consequences. Is happiness a good thing? Or, does it just simply feel good? A review of all the available literature has revealed that happiness does indeed have numerous positive byproducts, which appear to benefit not only individuals, but families, communities, and the society at large . The benefits of happiness include higher income and superior work outcomes (e.g., greater productivity and higher quality of work), larger social rewards (e.g., more satisfying and longer marriages, more friends, stronger social support, and richer social interactions), more activity, energy, and flow, and better physical health (e.g., a bolstered immune system, lowered stress levels, and less pain) and even longer life.”"We must stop waiting for happiness, and we must stop being terrified of the potential for unhappiness… nothing in life is as joy-producing or as misery-inducing as we think it is.”Right, we must stop waiting for happiness.

William D. Webber says:

The subtitle indicates what is different from the many books on happiness I am using this book as a text for the Elder hostel class I teach. The title interest potential students and makes them expect they will learn things that they can apply to their own lives. They are not disappointed. It is unique because the author has included all ages in her insights, for example the chapter “I Can’t be Happy When the Best years of my Life Are Over”.


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