By: MW

MW — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 01:47:28 +0000

crappy product. This product doesn’t look at all like real poop, unless your aim is to make it look like a 4-foot-6-inch ballerina took a dainty, monochromatic, plasticine dump somewhere. Or at best, a medium-sized dog who ate some chocolate-pudding-colored polyethylene. NOW I understand why the photo quality on the product picture above is so poor. Giving purchasers a high quality, well-lit photo would result in nobody being stupid enough to buy this, like I was. This chintzy, molded-and-stamped “gag” is not realistic at all and will fool no one. It’s poorly made — in China, literally — and looks like the uniformly brown blob of cheap plastic it is. Don’t waste your money on this crap.

By: Zolton "Veni. Vidi. Reviewi."

Zolton "Veni. Vidi. Reviewi." — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 01:19:02 +0000

It Pooped My Party, All Right Working life is hectic. If your job is like mine, there’s barely time to catch a breath before yet another traffic jam or staff meeting or disciplinary hearing sucks it right back out of you. Sometimes all you want is a quiet moment alone, to reflect. To regroup. To sob quietly into your hands and wonder where it all went so wrong.Needless to say, I spend a lot of time in the john.Problem is, I’m not the only one. Maybe it’s the recession — or maybe it’s the new ‘Burrito Blowout’ special in the cafeteria — but lately the back stall in the mens’ room has been more popular than the water cooler by the hot receptionist’s desk. Every time I need a ‘time out’, there’s some guy already back there. And probably pooping. I needed some way to keep the other guys away from my ‘thinking chair’.Few things would make me do a bathroom about-face faster than a piece of poo lounging on the rim of the ‘pool’, rather than in it. I bought a six-pack of these, to ensure my ‘fortress of solitude’ would remain undisturbed for the long haul.I positioned one on the side of the bowl to shoo away the intraoffice interlopers. It wasn’t outrageously realistic, but that seemed okay — the last thing I’d do if I saw something large and brown on the toilet seat is dive in for a closer look. That’s just not a situation where you ask probing questions like ‘Poop or Dupe?’, ‘Scat or Nat?’, or ‘Cosby, Spills, Ash or Dung?’ You see brown on the chair; you run away from there. That’s the rule.Or so I thought. Evidently, some joker is more eagle-eyed — or desperate — than I am. I tried every morning for a full week dropping plastic poop on the deck, but by mid-afternoon each day the deck was clear — and the stall was ‘occupado’ most of the time. When I finally managed to sneak in for a break, I found the perp had fashioned a sort of hanging ‘poop mobile’ from the missing products. It doesn’t seem to deter any of the people I was trying to keep out — but we’ve had some real trouble keeping a janitor on the floor since then. Poor guys aren’t expecting THAT on their first night on the job.

Comments on: Party Pooper Fake Human Poop

By: MW

By: Zolton "Veni. Vidi. Reviewi."